Sometimes I doubt that I can or will ever change.  Will I indeed be a different person 5 years from now-pursuing Christ more, sharing the gospel more, having put to death certain sins, working on mortifying other sins?

There are certain things that I think are obvious that a person’s heart is being changed by a power greater than themselves…

1.  A die hard Seminoles fan starts cheering for the Gators because they finally realize that the Gators are CLEARLY the better team and deserving of their allegiance.

2.  A vegan digs into an aged del monico steak from Bern’s, because they realize meat is a good gift from God and should be enjoyed.

3.  A pro-choicer becomes a pro-lifer because their heart is convicted over the consequences and ramifications and evilness of abortion.

4.  Someone who was born and raised in Florida and has missed it dearly for the last year has the opportunity to transfer with her job and go back to Florida.  And she says NO.

That’s right.  That last one was me.  The opportunity recently presented itself to transfer with EY to Jacksonville, Florida.  And, unless something drastically changes from tonight till tomorrow morning, I will be turning it down.

I miss Florida.  I miss Florida family, Florida friends, Florida football, Florida familiarity…(sidenote – check out THAT alliteraion!).  But I also know that God brought me to Charlotte for a reason, and I don’t think he’s done with me here yet.

I’m excited about gospel opportunities in the coming year.   I’m learning to abide in Christ alone more than ever before…even here and now in Virginia.  I love that friends struggling with things in Florida are being connected with friends in Charlotte, who have, in the power of Christ, CONQUERED AND OVERCOME those same struggles and sins.

The fact that I chose to stay in Charlotte over returning home…. this encourages me that the Holy Spirit is indeed at work in me.. changing me, shaping me, molding me more into the image of Christ.  Because I am denying my flesh, and putting on Christ, and believing that I can do more for the gospel in Charlotte than in Florida. At least for now.

So I am full of anticipation for what God is going to do in Charlotte this next year.  Because I don’t think He is keeping me there to live a safe little auditor’s life.  I am looking forward to His Spirit moving in a powerful way.

And mostly, I am humbled by the fact that the Holy Spirit of God is working in me…  in ME!

This seems so timely.  Four years ago at Passion, Whitney and David and I went to a late night session of worship led by Matt Redman, and Nathan & Christy Knockles.  

Christy sang a new hymn they had written called “Choose” and at the time, Whit LOVED this song.  I even contacted her label, but as Watermark had stopped recording, they didn’t have any resources for me to obtain the chords or lyrics or anything.

Well, Christy has released a solo CD today, and this song is on it! It’s cool that this song is now out there.  But I have some questions on it…

Let me be in love with what you love

Let me be most satisfied in you

Forsaking what this world has offered me

I choose to be in love with you

I will choose to be in love with you

In a later verse she sings

Let me know that have loved me first

and let me know the weight of my response

for you have long pursued my wandering heart

I choose to glory in your cross

If you know me at all, you know I am a Calvinist through and through, and hold to the biblical doctrines of reformed theology.  

But the more I grow and walk out my faith each day, the more I realize something.  God did choose me before the foundations of the earth, before time began.  And this choosing had nothing to do with my worth or merit, nor did it happen because God could see into the future and knew that I would choose Him.  He chose me based on nothing of myself or my decisions.  I did not choose Him, not would I ever have chosen Him had He not first chosen me.

But.  (I know.  Bare with me.) But…each day, I feel as though I do choose whether or not to pick up my cross and deny myself.  I feel like denying sin is a conscious choice I must make day in and day out.  So in that regard, I feel as though we do choose to love Him, to forsake the things of this world in light of, or because of the fact that He first chose us. 

Thoughts? Blasphemous? Do tell

This post by Abraham Piper goes right along with where my head and heart and prayers have been these last few months.

“ 2 kinds of biblical. We need to know which is which when we use the word.

1. Things commanded by Scripture. (Don’t murder, Be wise, etc.)
2. Things consistent with Scripture. (Home schooling, public schooling, etc.)

Confusing these creates legalism.”

What is essential? What is the true Gospel?  At what point do we become modern day pharisees? What is worth making a mess over?  

Anyone that knows me but at all is well aware that I miss Florida.  My family, my friends, the local church, and all of the hundreds of thousands of little things.  

I mean, I’m in South Carolina for the next two days, and my heart seriously skipped a beat when I saw this  

And I was minutes away from spending a couple hundred dollars on a plane ticket just to see my Florida life for a few short moments.  

And the other day, out of no where, thunder echoed through out Charlotte, and it was just a torrential afternoon down pour. But it was Florida-esque, so I loved it.  

And every time my phone rings, and I see an 813, 904, 352, or 407 area code, I do a little dance on the inside.  

So can happiness really be a grocery store? No.  But it sure represents a whole lot of goodness in my life.  

Tulips are my favorite flower….for  8 reasons.

1.  Total Depravity

2.  Unconditional Election

3.  Limited Atonement

4.  Indelible Grace

5.  Perserverance of the Saints

6.  Double Predestination

7. Best of all Possible Worlds

8.  Oh yes. And they are pretty flowers.

Are you some kind of theological nerd, you ask?  Yes.  A thousand times yes.  

 But I’m a nerd who loves Jesus, and who is loved by Jesus.

“The struggle of struggles is the struggle for the heart. There will be a day when this struggle is finally over, and God will own our hearts unchallenged for eternity. But today the struggle still goes on. So, God, in the grandeur of his redemptive love, will do what is necessary to reclaim our wandering hearts. These painful moments are not the result of his unfaithfulness and inattention; they are rather the product of his lovely grace. He loves us with an eternal and jealous love. He did not shed the blood of his Son for us only to lose us to some physical thing in the creation. God fights for us with the full might of his redemptive hand. He is willing to make us uncomfortable and sad. He is willing to bring us through suffering and grief. He is willing to shake and unsettle us. He is willing to squash our dreams and let the air out of our hopes. He is willing to let what we have craved slip like sand through our fingers. And he does all of these things because we are precious to him. We are the apple of his eye. He will not share us with another. He will not allow us to live in the delusion that we have found elsewhere what can only be found in him.” Paul Tripp

Shared with me by Mrs. Glick, by way of Amber Harrington

So Time Magazine did a post today on the top 10 ideas that are changing the world:

1.  Jobs are the new assets

2.  Recycling the suburbs

3.  The New Calvinism

Yep.  Stop right there .  The third biggest world changing idea is the resurgence of Calvinism (or reformed theology).  Not only do I love that this is true, but I love that Time is acknowledging this!  While parts of the article are fully wrong (God authoring evil), but still….third biggest idea.  THIRD biggest. 

Here are two posts by Driscoll in response to this.  One and Two

In case your interested in the other top ideas, here they are:

4.  Reinstating the Interstate

5.  Amortality

6.  Africa, Business Destination

7.  The Rent-a-Country

8.  Biobanks

9.  Survival Stores

10.  Ecological Intelligence

I found this article humbling, insightful, wise, and honest.  What grace that has been given to this man.

The next two days, I currently have an hour-ish commute to work.  In trying to make wise use of this time, I’m listening to sermons while I drive.  Today, I listend to one by Mark Driscoll on 1 Peter 1:3-9.  It’s on the topic of our attitude in the midst of trial. 

 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to  an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.

In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

I highly reccomend you going through this series with Driscoll’s church on 1 and 2 Peter.  But here’s the part that cause tears to come to my eyes during my morning commute:

In whatever trial you are, as it is grieving you, we are called to rejoice.  How? How do you do this?  Driscoll expounds upon this a great deal, but this gem uplifted my soul like nothing else.  Think about this-if you are a believer, covered by the blood of Christ, this life on earth?  That’s as bad as it’s gonna get!  This life, on earth, with all it’s trials and tribulations and hells and awfulness and tears and  tragedies and disappointments…it’s NEVER going to be any worse than this for those of us who are found in Christ Jesus. 

You think you have had a bad life?  It’s just life.  Imagine having a bad eternity.

I started thinking about this.  The bad days are the worst bad days I’ll ever had.  But that means the good days, they are no where NEAR the best days. 

Living today in light of THAT day. 

The Lord decided to speak to me today through my pumpkin spice latte.

“The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating – in work, in play, in love.  The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation.  To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life”

~Anne Morriss

and then i found this

(note that a friend first spoke of this quote on Monday.  but it was on my cup today, and it took today to take on personal meaning)