The sky is blue. The grass is green. Water is wet. The Gators are national champions.
These are all things that just are. There is no debating them, they are just fact. They are also all things that I take for granted. I don’t dwell on the fact that the grass is green. I expect the grass to be green. In fact, I’d be surprised if the grass wasn’t green one day.
Strangely enough, the same has become true of Gator sports. The gators win. That’s just what we do. I don’t dwell on the fact that we are national champions. I expect the Gators to win. In fact, I’d be surprised if the gators didn’t win one day.
Parallel to that, because I take it for granted, my excitement level isn’t fanatical. As I sat on the couch last night watching the game, I didn’t jump up and down. I didn’t scream with joy when we won. I sat there fairly unmoved because I took the championship for granted….
And it’s not just the little things, like the color of grass or the Gators sports titles. It’s often the same with the gospel. I can sit there and recite off the fact that Christ, who knew no sin, came to earth, and bore my sin, that I might be clothed in His righteousness, that His Father’s name might be made great. And as I say that, I can be unmoved. I believe it, and I am grateful for it, but I expect it! I take my salvation for granted. Oh the pride that this reveals in my heart….
I’m not saying that I want to be moved by emotionalism. And I don’t want to be manipulated by pretty words and cool graphics. But I want to be affected by the cross. I want the remembrance of the cross to bring me to my knees. And I want the remembrance of my sin and the punishment that I deserved to be a heavy weight upon my soul. I want to feel the weight of glory. I don’t want to just be forgiven, I want to feel forgiven. I don’t want to just know mercy has been poured out on me, I want to taste mercy.
And I’m not saying that I am numb to my salvation, or that my heart is cold toward God. It’s not. I love Him, and His Son, and His Spirit within me. I love the gifts that I have received through the cross. I love telling people about Him. I love worshiping Him, and singing His praises. I want every thing that I do to anthem His great name.
Maybe it’s because I’ve been a believer for so long. I think I have forgotten what it feels like to be a sinner condemned, without God, without hope in this world. I want to grasp that again. I want to remember the sin in my life, not so that I continue to feel condemned, but so that I can more adequately praise God for calling me to Himself. And not just the sins from before I was believer, but the sins of last week, and last month. Taking one look at grace on its own is good. But taking one look at the sin in my life, and then another look at the grace I received in SPITE of that sin…well, then the grace is not just good, it is glorious. It’s no longer expected, it’s uncomprehendable.
As much as I want to forget my sin, and never again dwell upon what life would be like without your grace, I know that my praise to You will be more full and with more thanksgiving if I never forget those things.
Make my sin real to me. Make my soul ache for the agony that my sin caused Your son.
Break my heart over my sin, and then heal my heart with Your grace and mercy. Thank You for drawing me to you. Thank you for hearing me now. Thank you for Jesus Christ and Him crucified.