I have less than a year left in my college education, and I still don’t really know what I want to be when I grow up. To be honest, it seems like the older I get, the less certain I am of my career desires.
When I was 5, I wanted to be a lawyer…a psychologist even told my mom when I was 5 that I had great potential in the field of law. When I was 8 I wanted to be a doctor. When I was 13, I wanted to major in political science, then get my law degree, then go into politics. That line of thinking continued for quite a while. My junior year however, I realized that I was conversing more about politics than I was about God. So I decided to lay that area of my life down. When I graduated high school, I wanted to be a Physician Assistant…I was even given a Littman stethoscope as a graduation present!
From freshman year to now, my major changed 4 times – microbiology to event planning to accounting to finance. Now, it didn’t OFFICIALLY change 4 times, but in my head, it has changed that often, if not more. I will graduate next May with a Bachelor’s in Finance. And yet, I’m currently taking chemistry and nutrition because I think I may want to pursue an Accelerated Bachelor’s Degree in Nursing (basically, once you have a bachelor’s degree in anything else, it’s only a one year program to get a B.S.N).
Why do I want to do that? Well, I don’t like the corporate world. I realized that while clerking at a law firm last summer as well as at Disney this past semester. I want to have a tangible skill, to be able to go on mission trips to Africa or India and be able to serve the people there in a REAL way. I like the part time aspect of nursing, should it be God’s will for me to get married and have children. I like the transferability aspect of nursing-I could really get a job anytime, and anywhere. This isn’t to say I will definitely do this, but I’m taking the classes because the state is paying for them and I will still graduate on time. I’m keeping the doors open. The only thing I know semi for sure is that I’m graduating with my finance degree. But my heart wants to do the nursing thing now.
Honestly though? I want to be a wife and a mom. I don’t want to have a career. There are times when I doubt my being at UF, getting a 4 year education. And I’m scared to admit that out loud, because I’m afraid that people will look at me like I’m crazy-like I’m going to be a waste of education and knowledge or money.
I recently listened to a sermon by John Piper directed to college students and my soul was so refreshed by it. My sinful fears and worries were calmed by the words of God being spoken through this man.
Why am I in college? What is the purpose of learning? It is the same purpose as anything else in life…to find out more about the nature of God, to know my God better, and to glorify his name.
“We’re in school to see a whole panorama of life that comes out in all manifestations of disciplines in the hope that all these beams of light refracted in human minds will lead us to the source of all things so that we know him better…. Don’t reduce your education to acquiring marketable skills. Study to become and behold, not to be rich.” ~John Piper